Reminiscence

April 1993.

Holding my father's hand, afraid to let go. Standing at the edge of the door. First day at school. Looking inside the class, kids, same as my size... so many of them. My mother isn't there anymore to protect me in case I get into trouble. The teacher has a smile on her face and her hands directing me to come inside. I start crying, what's worse is... in public. My father calms me down, the teacher takes me to my seat. They seat me next to this girl, who amazingly is not crying... My manhood wakes up, and amazingly even I`m not crying anymore. As soon as Uzma told me her name, I waved my father good-bye. 

Summer of 1998.

I arrive at Lahore Intl. Airport. Standing in the immigration line, I take a look at a TV on top of a wall. Cartoon Network has arrived to Pakistan. This nation is making progress. Some unknown people receive us, apparently they're family friends I show them my self-made cartoons, they compliment me. Out of honesty or out of my 'پیر  status', I still haven't figured out. After a week I go to my ancestral village. While once standing outside the gate of 'بڑے گھر', a shepherd stops by and kisses my hand. As I recall, it was my first "WTF" moment. 

25th February 2003

Independence day. "Teenage Confusion" at its peak. 4 Paki lads on a mission to celebrate our new so-called 'transition into manhood'. Qasim had recently got a driving license. The best part was, he wasn't allowed to drive the family car, well not at-least with us on board. It was a cloudy morning, and we wanted to rent a car to drive in the evening. We searched half of central Kuwait for a reasonably priced car. 3 hours later, it started raining and we found ourselves abusing each other. After 5 hours we finally found one. The renter tells us you need to be 21 to drive this. Yousef asks Qasim, how old are you? Einstein starts counting his age. Jesus Christ, that was something. Yahya and I couldn't stop laughing. Aah, that evening was worth every foam we sprayed on the Kuwaitis. 

An hour ago.

I start writing a blog with a title I can't even spell. Thank Lord for Google. As I recall forgotten moments, the light goes away. Suddenly, its showering outside. I grab a packet of cashews from the kitchen. Take the hot mug of tea and crash in the car parked in the garage. No, I didn't go anywhere. Just opened three doors, moved the front seat towards the steering, put a cushion on the back and laid down on the back-seat like a boss. Damn, the rain intoxicates me more than alcohol. I start thinking about her, and what I'd do if we were alone in an empty house... without any light...