Poverty is an economic failure. Beggary is a social one.

11.59 PM. 31st July, 2011. 


Tomorrow is officially my final day and final exam at Iqra Univeristy as a graduate student. 


The clock just hit 12. Welcome August, Welcome Ramadan.

The previous month was the usual July, the usual struggle. But what's really bothering me is the class difference. Its amazing how I find all men the same. 

• The young are the usual confused.
• The grown-ups are trying their best to make sense out of life while going through egoistic dilemmas at home, work and play.
• My favorite ones are the Senior Citizens. They envy the young; they hate their guts. They dictate how one should be, but then again...nothings good enough for them...unless you play your cards right.

Rule # 1: Never Outshine The Master. Oh, I`m being too critical. 

Then again I`m too skeptical about beggars. But that's my problem. The other day, sitting at Trappers in F-10 Markaz, I see this lower-class woman with 2 bundles of pens in her hands. Impulsively, I call her, then I walk up to her. 'مائی، کننے دا اک پن ؟ ' 'پنجی دا ' She replies. When I take out money to give her, to my surprise, she starts praying for me. 

' نہ جی ، تسی بڑا چنگا کم کر رے او. ماشاللہ حلال دا کماندے او."

I wish I added, 'Never raise your hands in front of anyone for survival'. Ah, there's always something left unsaid. 

Life, as we know it. I've been a puppet, a popper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king. Seeing life through all these roles has been amazing. I have a huge respect for people who don't beg...who earn their livelihood through work, through honest means. Poverty is an economic failure, beggary is a social one. Standing up on one's feet is not as easy as they say. But trying to, is the essence of character. 

Not everyone is born a failure, but to die as one, is. Balance. God dammit, Balance. Something that I know is the secret to salvation, but so hard to attain. But lets not take our eyes off the ball here. God took 6 days to make this world, man took 6000 years. Its about time I make mine. When I have The Architect with me, who else do I need?

الله نے ہمیں ذمےداری اٹھانے کے لئے پیدا کیا ہے.

And its human nature to avoid it, because we have free will. That's what separates us from the angels. That's why God loves us more than them. We all love our women, houses, careers, cars, comfort, fine cuisines...but coming out of that to say Hi to God is worth more to Him than a million prayers by angels. Jesus, how hard can it be? Bukhari, understand this yourself first before you preach others. Remember, hypocrites don't practice what they preach?

I live a life of an observer. I keep observing human behavior. What people do, why they do it? Whats their motivation? 

• Money?
• Power?
• Sex?
• Self-satisfaction?
• Good-will?
• Gossip?
• Out of habit?
• Cheapness?
• Attention?
• Love?
• Revenge?
• Intoxication?
• Achievements?
• Idealism?

I need another cigarette. There's no 'Conclusion'. There's only 'Findings'. Recommendations? Jesus, I`m not writing a fuckin' report. It gets interesting as it goes on. There's a fine line between passion and emotion. I admire passionate people, I discard emotional ones. Reactive people, caught up in their own insecurities, always blaming others for their own mistakes. 50 said, 'Get rich or die tryin'. I say, Get smart to die tryin. 

“..In the end what matters most is,

                                                 How well did you live

,How well did you love

,How well did you learn to let go…”

– Unknown